chantico: (Alien)
[personal profile] chantico
Odd day. Couldn't shake myself off the net, even though there wasn't much for me to read or do. I am bored of the net but it beats be bored of drawing, which I am. Throuighly. Everyone goes through their career rough patches. I guess my inner child is stamping her foot, because I do not want to be drawing for anyone else but me. Just, no. I am flush with drawing excitment but it's all for my own stuff.

I kind of want to go to the gym tonight, but I kinda don't. Kinda wanna play videogames, kinda don't. Repeat ad nauseum for any activity. Boredom is stage one of depression and for once I'm happy to see it, because ti means I'm not in stage two like I was the past couple of months. Hurrah for going to the doctor and popping up my dosage.

I feel like there is nothing interesting to write, but . . . I know I'm thinking about lots of things. Like why, when i go home, it feels so anti-creative as a space that I am more likely to get painting done when sitting in my cubicle (short answer: I have no fucking idea). About my relationship with me mom and how much that has improved and how I am so happy about it. Thinking about friends, and loneliness, and some of the hard things about sustaining a healthy marriage when you have no one close but each other. About writing itself. Jesus. Writing. My Smaug in the mountain, my terrifying guardian at the gate. And all the stuff I'm turning over in my head about my art, and my career, and questions about just what one does when they've reached some form of career stability, their "goal" in life, and all the baggage that comes with reaching what you decided was your finish line when you were so wee and thought it would never come. My nihilistic crises.

But those take too much from me right now. So here is what I did today: I pushed through the No-I-Don-Wanna's to finish inking some lady's book about her dogs, start inking a scene that STILL baffles me as to it's perspective or logistics (but fuck it, I so do not care anymore because when the author gives you and impossible scenario, sometimes you just need to rely on style rather than logic), and revised another few drawings for other folks. I worked on The Map, finishing off the plains area, starting in on the southern reefs. The desert is all that's left after this, and a few spots in the mountains. Oh, and I laid down a very basic climate pattern. I listened to the Strokes "Room on Fire", which I am not overly impressed by, Death Cab For Cutie's "The Photo Album", which I like less that Narrow Stairs, and Dirty Projectors' "Swing Lo Magellan", which is much more impressive in it's creativity and sound, if about as emotionally engaging.

J's here, so no time for copy editing. I'm sure this post is full of typos and mess. Oh well.
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chantico

May 2014

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