PRACTIVE

May. 31st, 2013 10:58 am
chantico: (Crabby)
This stupid sciatica will not go away. Resisting the urge to slam my back/ass/leg against things just to disrupt the constant, low grade discomfort that never changes. Go away. GO AWAY. SCREEEEEECH.

Went through my novel outline (what I have) and tweaked a lot of the events so that Delilah (and really, everyone) is more proactive. I fall *so* easily into the observer role when writing or gaming, my characters have a huge problem with being lurkers and reactors. I like playing with Delilah's evolution into a more proactive person, because she does start off as a passive individual, but it's a fine line to write. There's gotta be enough spunk in her that people actually *like* her and will stick with the first few chapters as she begins to take a more active role. Chapter 3 is where she makes her first real choice, so up until then, empathy is my key. She's possessed by something that takes her physical agency away from her at any stressful moment-- making internal choices is pretty much all she has at first.

And Dane shouldn't be a reactive character at all; neither should Winston. Arthur, funnily enough, is the most passive out of the group due to his meticulous, watchful nature. I can't wait to dig into this subject again when his stuff finally comes up, being that it echoes this same issue. When you've embraced the role of the Observer so thoroughly that the world starts to forget you exist, what can you do to make it remember you?

Bok booook books book

****

I'm having bouts of anxiety before I go to sleep every single night, and I don't know why.
chantico: (Drained)
Actually wrote some stuff Friday. It was pulling teeth but I got near 600 words down. I think it sucks, of course, but it's on the page. Hurdle jumped.

The problem with listening to music while I right, especially if it's a piece that really touches me, is that I feel super moved and excited by what I'm writing when it's playing, and then . . . not so much if it isn't. I can't tell if that emotion has transferred onto the page or not.

Anyway, hurrah for heroic character defining moments.

***

Posted this on Facebook but it deserves to be here, too: most of my art and stuff is going up on Tumblr these says, so if you want to see it, follow me here: http://chantico.tumblr.com/

It's just an easier platform for sharing pictures than LJ. I'm still going to make an effort here but I *know* I'm terribly behind. Maybe next week I'll try to post a backlogged picture a day or something.

***

Live from the Fucking Awesome News Network (FANN): Jason's job search has been less concentrated effort, more "I'm going to sit here and things are going to fall into my lap". He has pursued a couple of things, but his stupendous student teaching at Harmony connected him with someone who offered him a job as a counselor educator at the local mental health clinic, because he was so good with helping the troubled kids at Harmony get back on track. It's a job that's pretty much open to him at any time-- it doesn't pay as much as a teaching gig, he's way over-qualified for it, and it is seriously emotionally hard work. When they interviewed him, a formal necessity that they only had to do for paperwork, they knew he'd be gone quick, but they wanted him anyway. So he had a back-up, basically, in case nothing else came along.

And then on Thursday one of his friends called. He got a job full-time teaching, which means the position he had previously was no open. Was J interested? Within 30 minutes, the school called him and set up an interview at 9 AM Friday. By 1, he had the job. 3 weeks of substitute pay, and then full salary that a masters grad would pull in.

The bad news is the position is temporary, as he is filling in for someone on maternity leave, and it will be ending in October. but the other job is always there, it is more experience on his resume, and if they really like him? Schools have been known to make room. Especially since, very likely, he will be signing on to be an assistant coach for the football program.

The other bad news is due to our one car situation-- school starts at 8 AM and is in the next county over. Which means my work day is now 7-4 instead of 8-5. I was *just* bitching about early mornings, too. ALAS.

Oh yeah-- and he starts tomorrow.

Bumpy Ride

Aug. 2nd, 2012 02:43 pm
chantico: (Incredulous)
Avery, the little engine that could. The mountain is crested; I'm on my way toward smooth sailing again. Everything big I have to do is over the 75% done mark. The cool breezes of freedom! Which means I finally have time to get back to Vessels (the series name that stuck). I've given up on finding a title until the damn thing is done. All options I've brainstormed are too hokey, too melodramatic, or too pedestrian-- or they fit the very beginning of the story, but not the whole book.

Jesus fuck I have a lot of characters. And this is condensed down from the original number, with half of them mushed together from other sources from the current story line or way off in the future. I mean, I'm setting up a six book epic here, so a lot of the people introduced as bit players will have time to grow later on, and that's okay, but still! My lord!

Shit's going to be long. I'm okay with that.

There's a scene I'm stuck on at the very beginning of chapter two that I think i'm going to have to toss completely. Two characters talking in an apartment is going to become two characters running into each other while hunting evil. I think. This stupid scene has given me so much shit, executing it will be a pleasure. It's pulling the trigger on my worst writing pitfall, passive characters. I've made peace with Delilah being somewhat passive in the beginning, because a large part of the book is *about* unlearning helplessness, but there's no one else in that portion of the story who should be waiting around for something to happen.

***

House is coming along. Most of the unpacking is complete, except for the fucking bathrooms. Oh my god, why and how did we collect 20 bottles of vitamins? We don't even take vitamins. There's still some basic stuff to do in repairs department-- the vent still isn't working right, some cabinets do indeed need new hinges, and a couple of rooms still need painting. I feel like, aside from not having money top do a few things, all is well and under control-- except the yard. YARD. What does one do with a long-neglected yard?

We have some trees that aren't doing so hot, a couple raggedy-ass box hedges, and a grassy area full of random weeds, poison ivy, and sticks. The trees are just going to have to wait, because damn, that's some money, but I'm starting to think of garden spaces. For some reason the flowerbeds up front are filled with rocks, so I think I'll build the borders up a little more and dump a bunch of soil on top, picking plants that like lots of irrigation. The grass is going to be a bitch. Sowing seed won't be too hard but the damn ground itself is lumpy as fuck, like at some point it all turned to mud, someone held a dance party on top of it, and then it baked in a kiln. WTF.

HGTV you need a good yard show.
chantico: (Imperiled)
Wrote a long post, accidentally deleted it. FULL OF PIQUE. In short: Life hectic! Anxious, but it's normal with life so hectic, and there is an end date to the insanity.



That's Darla, secondary protagonist from The Book.
chantico: (Insatiable)
Nano was succeeded! I am quite proud, being that I have won both years I participated. now it is time for all the editing in the world, and continuing writing even more-- I'm going down to 500-700 words a day, but committing to that. It's very exciting. Still looking for more beta readers, if anyone else is interested. I have two right now but I could always use a couple of more perspectives.

I'm at that awful stage where I just don't have the emotional distance to tell if what I've written is any good or not. Aside from the million insecure wailings that tell me there was a *reason* I gave up writing, and that is because I *suck*, this is the first piece I've done since 2009 Nano and the first writing I've *ever* done that I've tried applying tactics learned by watching the processes of writer friends and stranger's blogs alike. I'm incredibly nervous about pulling even a little of it off, not least because this story is so ARGH important to me. This is the narrative that got me through the darkest days, man. I want people to love this tale like I did. To drift into the macabre, when I was suicidal, this story was one of the reasons I didn't pull the proverbial trigger-- because if I died, these characters died too. And even if *I* didn't want to deal with this shit anymore, they weren't finished. I couldn't murder a group of people who had fought so hard as heroes just because I was chronically melancholic.

But oh, how to do it?

****

Sometime soon there will be a post about my illustrations, I swear to god. I have so much on my plate (what else is new) that cleaning up my "work" work will take a little time, but I have a handy-dandy illustration (pun intended) of how far I've come in a year that will be ready to post next week sometime. This is the first year since college that I've leveled up TWICE. It might be the first year ever since I started taking drawing seriously.

****

Going to see Melancholia tonight in the IU Cinema, which is apparently one of the top movie theatres in the world. In Bloomington. What. But it is, my god, it is. I saw Tree of Life there and spent the first 40 minutes ENTRANCED by the visual quality.

***

Did I already post about the cinema here? I might have. Hmm.

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