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Daily Grind over Inner Gears
Dec. 17th, 2012 04:40 pmUsing 20/10's to try and get a little more focus out of myself (20 mins work, 10 minutes break). Pretty successful today although I'm feeling pretty stupefied. I'm sure dreary winter isn't helping. Indiana is 40s-50s, grey, and rainy. Perfect November weather, which might be why i feel like it's a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving, not Christmas. No holiday spirit this year, at least not yet!
Let's hope a run perks me up. Thanks to a partner who doesn't let me slack off, I'm *finally* a couple of weeks into Couch to 5k, on day 2 of week 4. I'm doing it! Slowly! Being careful of my feet, which have started bitching. A little internet research suggests I have early plantar faciitis, which is pretty common and easy to deal with. Icing my heels when I get home has helped a lot these last few times. I'm pretty thrilled about getting to the point where I can jog for five minutes straight. I'm learning! I'm learning! Yay!
Even more thrilled that I will be able to get some new music to listen to tonight. Computer died about a week ago-- hard drive gave up the ghost-- and then i sold an original and we finally upgraded the whole thing. i'm totes nervous about losing my meticulous system of music organization that only I understand. My husband is wonderful and very understanding and technically competent to get into iTunes and change some it's code so that everything will be just how I want it. I love him muchly.
***
I am too burnt out to get into the Big Things making noise in my head, but I'll note them here so maybe I will one day. The Sandy Hook shooting is deeply sad, but I don't find it very surprising, and I really don't think the answer is gun control, or mental health help, or pretty much anything people have proposed, because I think answer lies more in education reform and, well . . . frankly, a lot of our American culture as a whole, then way we exult individuals above the common good, the economic outlook, the way we kill ourselves with work, the way the ability to make a decent life is grower much, much harder. We can treat symptoms, but I have no idea how to treat the disease: a sick society running itself down.
Atheism/Rationalism is a terrible belief structure for me. It feeds all my worst inclinations and smothers the good. Bad Brain's been using it as a hook to try and drive me nuts. Again.
My book is going so badly that even typing the words 'my book' throws food to the panic-worms and UGH. Confidence as a writer is so low I'm just panic attacking all over the place when I think about it or writing in general. 80,000 words in and I think I have to scarp most of that and start over. Can't even work on fanfic in my spare time to try to keep the words coming because I'm so hypercritical I drive myself to tears.
I have a new fandom.
House is amazeballs.
Let's hope a run perks me up. Thanks to a partner who doesn't let me slack off, I'm *finally* a couple of weeks into Couch to 5k, on day 2 of week 4. I'm doing it! Slowly! Being careful of my feet, which have started bitching. A little internet research suggests I have early plantar faciitis, which is pretty common and easy to deal with. Icing my heels when I get home has helped a lot these last few times. I'm pretty thrilled about getting to the point where I can jog for five minutes straight. I'm learning! I'm learning! Yay!
Even more thrilled that I will be able to get some new music to listen to tonight. Computer died about a week ago-- hard drive gave up the ghost-- and then i sold an original and we finally upgraded the whole thing. i'm totes nervous about losing my meticulous system of music organization that only I understand. My husband is wonderful and very understanding and technically competent to get into iTunes and change some it's code so that everything will be just how I want it. I love him muchly.
***
I am too burnt out to get into the Big Things making noise in my head, but I'll note them here so maybe I will one day. The Sandy Hook shooting is deeply sad, but I don't find it very surprising, and I really don't think the answer is gun control, or mental health help, or pretty much anything people have proposed, because I think answer lies more in education reform and, well . . . frankly, a lot of our American culture as a whole, then way we exult individuals above the common good, the economic outlook, the way we kill ourselves with work, the way the ability to make a decent life is grower much, much harder. We can treat symptoms, but I have no idea how to treat the disease: a sick society running itself down.
Atheism/Rationalism is a terrible belief structure for me. It feeds all my worst inclinations and smothers the good. Bad Brain's been using it as a hook to try and drive me nuts. Again.
My book is going so badly that even typing the words 'my book' throws food to the panic-worms and UGH. Confidence as a writer is so low I'm just panic attacking all over the place when I think about it or writing in general. 80,000 words in and I think I have to scarp most of that and start over. Can't even work on fanfic in my spare time to try to keep the words coming because I'm so hypercritical I drive myself to tears.
I have a new fandom.
House is amazeballs.
