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Automatic Stop
Jan. 29th, 2014 04:32 pmI have got to stop updating at the end of my work day; by this point the cotton in my head has collected into drifts and for all the conversations and connections I want to have (with any readers, or with the future self that will be reading this one nostalgic day-- hi, self!), there ain't no deep talk happening. I never knew one could feel mental exhaustion, in a very real, physical sense. Always associated it before with that wall you hit where you just don't want to do anything anymore. Alas, no, there is a beyond, and in that realm you will find mist and bellybutton lint and all manner of soft, smothering things to press on the walls of your skull, compacting your eyes, forehead, sinuses.
***
Imbolc party on Sunday. Haven't thrown a party in years. Wondering how I'm going to get the house clean, if I should do a little ritual, what I can use as cushions for the lawn furniture since ours did not survive the cold or my many winters of neglect. Seriously though, the whole back romo is a filthy junk pile and I really, really need to get it picked up if people are going to head to the back yard but I am not sure when I am going to be able to do that. Saturday is Moon's birthday party and I miss her so, yeah, not skipping that. Jason's sick and I can't rely on him to clean it up anyway. He wants to find a way to pick up the Superbowl this Sunday during the party and I'm all "Uh. You . . . totally okayed this party thing and the date for it. Please don't sabotage." Or I'm saying that internally. Slinking away from any conversations that might be unpleasant right now because he's worn so thin by work.
MARRIAGE. The careful balancing act of "We need to communicate!" and "I'm too crazy not to take this shit personally right now!"
Thhhbbt.
****
Finished The Map's geographical features. placing and naming cities now. Very pleasant and mindless. Painting preparations for Light are coming along-- figured out exactly what region I'm illustrating, did two environmental studies and found a source for one more, picked some grasses to examine, designed the lantern and costume, studied the hard parts of that (though I need to do a texture examination of firelight on wool). Still need to do some studies of the tree, a couple of lantern light, and a *lot* of anatomical work. Then thumbnails at last!
****
Gym visit #4 tonight. Overworked my legs yesterday. 24 hours afterward and they still feel weak-- a bad sign. Abs, hips, shoulders tonight, and maybe the treadmill instead of the arc machine to keep my thighs from dying.
****
Today's music: The Stroke's "Room on Fire" (meh); Dry the River's "Shallow Bed" (solid, enjoyable folk with some great hooks and lyrics); Run DMC's "Tougher than Leather" (I remember the early 90's!); Krewella's "Wet" (party pop dubstep, entertaining, but in smaller doses than a whole album in one go) and a smidge of Joe Cocker.
***
Imbolc party on Sunday. Haven't thrown a party in years. Wondering how I'm going to get the house clean, if I should do a little ritual, what I can use as cushions for the lawn furniture since ours did not survive the cold or my many winters of neglect. Seriously though, the whole back romo is a filthy junk pile and I really, really need to get it picked up if people are going to head to the back yard but I am not sure when I am going to be able to do that. Saturday is Moon's birthday party and I miss her so, yeah, not skipping that. Jason's sick and I can't rely on him to clean it up anyway. He wants to find a way to pick up the Superbowl this Sunday during the party and I'm all "Uh. You . . . totally okayed this party thing and the date for it. Please don't sabotage." Or I'm saying that internally. Slinking away from any conversations that might be unpleasant right now because he's worn so thin by work.
MARRIAGE. The careful balancing act of "We need to communicate!" and "I'm too crazy not to take this shit personally right now!"
Thhhbbt.
****
Finished The Map's geographical features. placing and naming cities now. Very pleasant and mindless. Painting preparations for Light are coming along-- figured out exactly what region I'm illustrating, did two environmental studies and found a source for one more, picked some grasses to examine, designed the lantern and costume, studied the hard parts of that (though I need to do a texture examination of firelight on wool). Still need to do some studies of the tree, a couple of lantern light, and a *lot* of anatomical work. Then thumbnails at last!
****
Gym visit #4 tonight. Overworked my legs yesterday. 24 hours afterward and they still feel weak-- a bad sign. Abs, hips, shoulders tonight, and maybe the treadmill instead of the arc machine to keep my thighs from dying.
****
Today's music: The Stroke's "Room on Fire" (meh); Dry the River's "Shallow Bed" (solid, enjoyable folk with some great hooks and lyrics); Run DMC's "Tougher than Leather" (I remember the early 90's!); Krewella's "Wet" (party pop dubstep, entertaining, but in smaller doses than a whole album in one go) and a smidge of Joe Cocker.
