Drawing 101

[chantico]

I've been having a lot of problems doing art lately, and by lately I mean within the past month. Partially it's because my lack of a readily accessable workspace, what with my computers being dead, but more than that, I realized recently that I'm just not having *fun* doing art right now. I'm spending so much time obsessing over what I need to do to improve, how competitive I have to be in order to make it in a market that I only have *two years* to prepare for (AUGH) that I'm not enjoying what I do anymore. Every picture is an excercise, often failed, and always frustrating.

There's certainly something to be said for stretching my creative muscles, but when everything becomes a chore it's not a good thing. It's just so *painful* right now. I'm at the cusp of actually being *good*, I am so damn close to taking my art to another level, but it's at a stage when all I can do to improve is spend monumental amounts of time working and working and working. Though I can see where I should be, I can't seem to get there. So I have that weird problem, where-in everything I do *should* be something that pushes me hard, should be almost painful to eke out, but it leaves me feeling empty, creatively drained, and angry at myself for not being as good as I could-- as I *should*, in my mind-- be.

Considering that fact that until I got into college I was *entirely* self trained, that from books and patience and, yes, a huge portion of ambition I mananged to make myself decent, if a little stagnant, where I am now *is* good. But it's not good enough.

Maybe it's a case of needing to go back to the basics. Maybe I just need to get a sketch book and make sure everyday I'm doing life drawing, and then take what I learned that day and try to integrate it. I read a fabulous rant recently about the process of art and the process of creation, and came to the conclusion that I am, essentially, back where I started-- that to move on, I have to once more spend my days filling blank page after blank page with straight lines, with circles, with the most basic foundations of my craft. I think it is sinking in at long last that this is what art IS, that it is *always* a circular return to the old in order to strengthen the new. That creativity is, in essence, taking that which is mundane, static and logical, and *doing* something with it.

My position of frustration comes from the fact that I am good enough now that I can *see*. I can see the beauty in the world around me, I can see the themes I want to work with, I can see the muscles underneath skin, the subtle pinks and golds and blues that are in everything from a leaf to limestone, and I want *so badly* to be able to communicate that I rush forward too fast and trip, or I find myself stalling and tangled up because I don't have the patience yet to go through the motions of laying down the mortar and stone essential for good art.

So really, I suppose it's a matter of refocusing. All of that, all of that I can now see, will still be there when I get to it. But for now, I have to trust the artistic rebirth I'm going through, and return to filling countless pages with practice.

And try not gnaw my own fingers off in the mean time.

Comments

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

I read a fabulous rant recently about the process of art and the process of creation

Off-hand, would you have a link to this rant? I think I need a reminder of what it is I'm trying to do, a kick in the pants as far as writing stories with plots goes.

[tooth-and-claw.livejournal.com]

I don't know if it will help with writing, as its pretty painting specific, but I'll try to find the link again.

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

That'd still be plenty interesting. At the very least, I like to write artists at times. ;-)

[tooth-and-claw.livejournal.com]

http://www.merekatcreations.com/mere_html/tutorials/process.html

I warn you, its long.

[citizenjess.livejournal.com]

I read a fabulous rant recently about the process of art and the process of creation, and came to the conclusion that I am, essentially, back where I started-- that to move on, I have to once more spend my days filling blank page after blank page with straight lines, with circles, with the most basic foundations of my craft. I think it is sinking in at long last that this is what art IS, that it is *always* a circular return to the old in order to strengthen the new. That creativity is, in essence, taking that which is mundane, static and logical, and *doing* something with it.

That's really beautiful, actually. I know it doesn't help you much and I wish it could, but ... well, I hope your stride picks up and you find something to make your work not so work-ish anymore.

[tooth-and-claw.livejournal.com]

That's the beauty of cycles-- it'll come around again, I know it will. The trick is . . . well, it's not waiting it out, because waiting isn't what I should be doing. I need to literally work through it. I think these periods are really what kills 95% of people's ambitions in art. They give up. They set drawing aside until they can enjoy it again-- but it doesn't work that way.

Thanks, though, tis appreciated.

[vampirenaomi.livejournal.com]

Considering that I know absolutely nothing about art, creating it, or the market, I should probably keep my mouth shut for everyone's sake.

When I look at your DA gallery, my reaction is always "OMG, so brilliant, can't breathe!" Most people would probably kill to have your talent, including me, but I think the fact that we don't have it makes us unable to understand the way you feel. But I'm not getting into details because that has nothing to do with your post.

One thing I've noticed is that those people who get the kind of "Damn, I can't create anything!" moments are the people with the true talent. It's like their gift is burning them from the inside. Those people who just randomly create something every now and then without pain (like me) are just dabblers.

That said, I'm sure you'll make it in the market. There are times when you remind me of AmberPalette. Not necessarily the art style, but the way you think.

[iblis-kukl.livejournal.com]

[swan-tower.livejournal.com]

You're reminding me of my own feelings when I read Dorothy Dunnett. I'm good enough now not just to enjoy what she's doing, but to see how she does it, and to turn green with envy, and to be drowned under ambitions to be half so cool, and then when I go to write something I feel inadequate and stupid and it doesn't go anywhere good.

You know you've always got a market for sketch practice with Memento, whenever you want a reason to work on (and finish!) something.