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Hello, I'm Fine, How Are You?
Jan. 28th, 2009 01:21 amI have not updated my journal regularly since the summer before I left for Florence, and this displeases me. In the wake of the latest staff upheaval here on LJ, I read through some of my old entries, trying to decide if they were worth backing up. I was pleasently surprised by how comforting and engaging some of my entries are in retrospect; they are clear markers of times in my life that I don't remember very well any more, good or bad, and I really enjoyed browsing a snapshot of my (slightly) younger life. I started my journal at 17 when I was working on my grad project, and my only LJ friends at that point were people from the Jackie Chan Adventures fandom (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
citizenjess, you will always be my first!)
Then, suddenly, the nostaglia stream is dammed, and there's only this sad, muddy thing that shows up once a month or so, up until now. I won't guarantee to myself that I will update regularly, because I'm bad at keeping promises if they don't invlove other people's expectations. I do want to try however, if for nothing more than the sake of my future self, whose memory will be undoubtably just as bad.
Then, there's the need for communication. I love my life right now, but I have a tendency to hermit out of habit, and working from home-- on my art, and my day job-- severely limits my human contact. If I wanted to, I could never leave my home save for a once-monthly game. It's a strange social place, because I still shun actual human contact for the most part. At this point in time, when I'm still learning my patterns and tweaking my discipline, directly interacting with people can be too easy an excuse for me to avoid the troublesome picture sitting on my desk. Alternatly, making frequent social plans leaves me feeling disrupted, without the focus for the work I want, need, to be doing.
The internet appeals to me, though-- I can talk and debate and learn, and when I need to, I can say no, which I find very difficult face to face. It's tough to say "I love your company, but I have to go home and draw. Like, right now."
I wonder who else is out there, who I haven't seen or don't yet know, who needs connection like that.
citizenjess, you will always be my first!)Then, suddenly, the nostaglia stream is dammed, and there's only this sad, muddy thing that shows up once a month or so, up until now. I won't guarantee to myself that I will update regularly, because I'm bad at keeping promises if they don't invlove other people's expectations. I do want to try however, if for nothing more than the sake of my future self, whose memory will be undoubtably just as bad.
Then, there's the need for communication. I love my life right now, but I have a tendency to hermit out of habit, and working from home-- on my art, and my day job-- severely limits my human contact. If I wanted to, I could never leave my home save for a once-monthly game. It's a strange social place, because I still shun actual human contact for the most part. At this point in time, when I'm still learning my patterns and tweaking my discipline, directly interacting with people can be too easy an excuse for me to avoid the troublesome picture sitting on my desk. Alternatly, making frequent social plans leaves me feeling disrupted, without the focus for the work I want, need, to be doing.
The internet appeals to me, though-- I can talk and debate and learn, and when I need to, I can say no, which I find very difficult face to face. It's tough to say "I love your company, but I have to go home and draw. Like, right now."
I wonder who else is out there, who I haven't seen or don't yet know, who needs connection like that.
