Monkeywrench

[chantico]

I will probably appear more frequently on LJ over the next few weeks, as it's one of the few places I am allowing myself to putter on the internet (and I feel bad for never updating-- not for other people, but I've always rather liked keeping my LiveJournal for my own memory recording purposes). My time spent on the interneet has passed from recreational into detrimental-- I don't just procrastinate, I lose hours to the great devouring black hole that is the world wide web.

It would be different if what I was finding was useful, inspirational or at all increased my happiness, knowledge, or well being. Unfortunately, the only things I'm seeing-- actively seeking out, even-- are the latest statisics on how much the world sucks. Oh, unjust rape cases, infuriating racist assholes, cruel examples of human malice. I don't know why I crave exampes of you so, but I am done. I have been caught in an outrage loop for monthes now, addicted to bad news and helpless rage-- so, I'm severing it, cold turkey. No Jezebel.com, no sf_drama, no Fox News, no checking the livejournals of people I hate, just to get me angry. My internet time is limited to work, LJ, email, and art.

Art is, in fact, the only thing I am allowing myself to actively explore the net for. Any kind of art will do, and any resource for it-- as long as it feeds my desire to LEAVE the computer and go do something creative, instead of sit and seethe (and then let that anger color the way I think of people outside the confines of the computer screen. It just ain't healthy to wonder if the guy across from me on the bus is A Bad Person, and what punishment he probably deserves).

So, LJland. Hello. I hope you have not spawned too many Llamas lately.

See you soon.

Comments

[ozziel.livejournal.com]

I sent you a message from...Facebook maybe? I want to comission you for some character portraits =)

[tooth-and-claw.livejournal.com]

I messaged you back!

[(Anonymous)]

I think you've got it all wrong. Give in to the Dark Side.

You simply have not found enough cruel examples of human malice. Once you do you'll understand them better, and how to make them work to your advantage.

That guy across from you on the bus IS a bad person, and YOU can decide kind of punishment he deserves.

Give in to your anger. Your hate will make you powerful.



The little Sith Lord in your virtual ear,
Tony

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

Hmm. While duende is certainly a viable method of inspiration, from what you're saying, you weren't actually getting inspired by all of those negative emotions.

*ponders interesting art-things* Stretch your wings with a different medium? Mimic a style like Art Nouveau? I'm sadly lacking in resources that might be useful as I'm still poking at learning the basics.

[tooth-and-claw.livejournal.com]

It's not so much duende that I'm struggling with, because that implies a passion that burns hot and *clean*, a cheekiness, and a morbidity that these things don't inspire in me. All that I get is anger-- rotten, spiteful, and poisoned anger, that just sits and festers.

Thankfully, I do find myself easily inspired by visiting online galleries and the like. The key is coming anywhere near the computer and not immediately visiting sites that I know will upset me, simply becasue, i don't know, I get an adrenaline rush from it.

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

*nods* That's a good definition of the difference between duende and rage. Mind if I borrow it in the future?

Sometimes people like being angry. Or they like being hurt - I know I have a certain liking for getting outraged and disgusted over the weirder kinds of crap people write sometimes. Trainwreck Syndrome and all that.

Hmmm. Random potentially-inspiring DA pieces?
- 1 (http://lolita-art.deviantart.com/art/Art-Nouveau-IV-59051396) 2 (http://fredy3d.deviantart.com/art/When-Worlds-Collide-104404221) 3 (http://jackieocean.deviantart.com/art/Art-Nouveau-Gambit-43100656) 4 (http://ladena.deviantart.com/art/to-Fairy-Tale-2-104346711) 5 (http://meowgli.deviantart.com/art/Rocky-Sunset-89934426) 6 (http://northernbanshee.deviantart.com/art/Ruby-and-Jade-101307803) 7 (http://jollyjack.deviantart.com/art/How-To-Play-TIE-Fighter-96698217) 8 (http://liek.deviantart.com/art/Steampunk-102006641) 9 (http://mechanicalwhisp.deviantart.com/art/Inner-Beauty-74793668) 10 (http://galeart.deviantart.com/art/Clone-Wars-Clone-Commander-61494283) 11 (http://animal-e.deviantart.com/art/Sun-on-ice-92547473) 12 (http://stinkytofu.deviantart.com/art/Fantasy-94324434) 13 (http://tracyjb.deviantart.com/art/Lackadaisy-Voodoo-41428198) 14 (http://kevindalton.deviantart.com/art/womenz-56553994) 15 (http://sirielle.deviantart.com/art/Let-the-havens-burn-78375387) 16 (http://amusdey.deviantart.com/art/the-duel-99477905) 17 (http://janedean.deviantart.com/art/Steampunk-fridge-magnets-103715294) 18 (http://larbesta.deviantart.com/art/after-summer-fall-shall-come-92165908) 19 (http://scottb.deviantart.com/art/Spray-104008969) 20 (http://risachantag.deviantart.com/art/Photography-Spring-water-103000643) 21 (http://varges.deviantart.com/art/The-4-Elements-Wind-71345463) 22 (http://belial28.deviantart.com/art/Sphynx-2008-103364244) 23 (http://bw-inc.deviantart.com/art/Red-Wolf-63293873) 24 (http://grantgoboom.deviantart.com/art/Star-Wars-Promo-Card-48994321) 25 (http://ruslayer.deviantart.com/art/Vampyre-76614730) 26 (http://eskimoscrybe.deviantart.com/art/Spring-memories-102602831) 27 (http://aksu.deviantart.com/art/Inner-city-102808740) 28 (http://raphael-lacoste.deviantart.com/art/London-Rooftops-82453100) 29 (http://kendre.deviantart.com/art/YUMMY-70793847) 30 (http://marciedip.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Clown-1-33937885)

*stares at list of pictures*

Perhaps I need to collect fewer favorites on DeviantArt, since that's only a random selection from my first five pages. But soooooooo many pretty and fascinating things to look at there.

[tooth-and-claw.livejournal.com]

No, I don't mind you using that at all. Pretty pictures! I have something like 25 pages of favorites, so don't feel bad. You can never have enough.

[mindstalk.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I need to break my own habit of collecting teh crazy and teh stupid. Part rage, part fascination -- "do they really believe that? Sarah, look!" Only I often argue, trying to dispel misconceptions, at least for the lurkers, and that takes even more time than reading.

[tooth-and-claw.livejournal.com]

Rage and fasination, for sure. It's like watching deep sea life, sometimes. I don't bother arguing-- often the crazy that really gets me going is second hand, reported in News Stories, or so far off the wall that I know that I can't talk sense into the situation. That, and I am most definitely a Lurker.